“These essays are wicked. As in wickedly good, wickedly funny, wickedly smart, but also just plain wicked. They will corrupt everything you thought you knew about love and relationships: they will make you suspicious of your friends and lusty for your enemies; you won’t trust anyone anymore ever except for Jacobsen herself as she crashes at rabbit-quick speed through all the ‘fables’ we tell ourselves about modern love and how to behave in this digital age. Jacobsen distinguishes herself from the very first sentence in the very first essay as a writing virtuoso. I love this book about love so, so, so much I can’t stand it.” – Suzette Mayr, author of Monoceros and Dr. Edith Vane and the Hares of Crawley Hall